Soul Search of a Bride to Be

This day marks the fourth day since the pain began. He spoke of a lie, which I could not forgive on Friday the 12th of November 1999. That night I returned the ring, the letters, the cards, the gifts he gave me. On Saturday the 13th, I called the baker and canceled all the preparations with the deepest of pain. At 3:20 that afternoon I went to confession. The priest spoke of how to forgive the sin, and I was reminded of the pain Jesus Christ suffered for our sins, and forgave us. Even that he asked God for forgiveness for us. Sunday although not quite better I felt a little forgiving. Monday, confusion set in and I was so upset and tired I could no longer go on. Though I told him to go on and reinstate all the preparations I still was so hurt and could not let the pain go. I tried to call the Wedding dress shop on several occasions to get the dress back, but they did not answer my calls. That night I prayed a bit and fell into a deep sleep. Tuesday I prayed most of the day and searched the Internet for some consoling to help me see the truth. Searching for answers and asking God and the Holy Virgin Mary to intervene I stepped outside at around 3:15. There in the comfort of the sun and solitude from work I began to pray. As I prayed I felt the desire to give up my prayer to those who were in need. The lost souls of this world; an unborn child begging not to be aborted, the loss of a wife by her husband of many years, a small boy crying over the loss of his pet, a dying mother fearing for the pain in her children. and for all people who were so much in need of prayers. As I listened I heard, "Go my child, he has chosen you and you him. Enjoy what God has provided for you, the fruits of this earth."

The joy that filled my heart was the most beautiful I had ever felt before. When I returned to my desk, I copied a prayer I read on the computer that day from the WWW site for him. I sent it to him and then called the printer shop. The woman who was helping me placed me on hold. As the music played I realized that the song that played was, "Going to the chapel and were gonna get married." I began to smile and giggle a bit.

I hung up the phone and a few minutes passed when the phone rang. I answered wondering who it could be. It was a familiar voice from the wedding dress shop. I was surprised and stated that I wanted to get the dresses and the tuxedos back if it was possible. The man laughed and said yes. Just before he hung up I asked him if he had received the phone messages I had placed over the past two days. He said that he had but they had been closed because of out-of-town visitors and he was just getting back in the shop from dropping them off at the airport. Again I was surprised at the events which had taken place. I know in my heart that this was the work of God, in his plan. I know this because He did not allow me to come in contact with the dress shop until I had become fully aware of the inability to forgive and its cause. It wasn't until I had reached the full understanding that I was called back by the owner of the wedding shop. The dress shop was the only thing I could not get in touch with during this time. After work I went to the shop and was fitted. My Mom who was very disturbed by this marriage from the beginning decided to come with me. She watched as I put on the dress and was being fitted for length and waist.

November 17, 1999

I wanted to write this letter to remind me in years to come of the reasons for our existence and how much God is willing to give if you just ask. Below I have added the prayer I read (And God Said No) which changed my life and the way I will intend to live it in the future. May God bless all who believe!

Submitted to Catholic Payers on November 17, 1999